Don't go
by Sebastina Michaelis
Summary: Roxas starts to think it doesn't matter if he joins with Sora or not, but Riku thinks otherwise


I could feel him standing there before he actually spoke. No words could really describe how dark and ominous his presence was, even with his ties to the darkness fading, his heart would always bear the memories of what had happened. _Why is he choosing now to show up again?_ By this time tomorrow I wouldn't be here and he could have his precious Sora back. It just would have been nice knowing someone other than Axel would have missed me after I disappeared.

All I had been hearing lately was Sora this and Sora that, but what about me? I didn't want to fade away into someone else. I wasn't broken and I sure as hell wasn't any less of a person just because I lacked a heart. But lately it was starting to feel like the opposite was true. I might as well have just been a figment of someone else's imagination, maybe then I wouldn't be getting thrown away.

I took a deep breath as the wind carried with it the scent of the ocean, and gazed out at the moon looming over the horizon for a few more seconds before acknowledging the presence behind me. "What do you want?"

At first I thought he hadn't heard me, or maybe he was going to leave instead. But I wasn't about to turn to him. That would show too much interest in whatever he might have needed a push to say. I wasn't interested. None of it mattered. All he would have left is the memory of me and his time spent immersed in darkness. "Are you going to do it?"

If he was trying to send me on a guilt trip I was going to make this as hard as possible for him. "Do what?"

There was a long pause and he came closer. "Y'know...join with Sora."

"Funny, I didn't think I had a choice." I glanced over at him but his face was shadowed by his silver hair, making it nearly impossible to tell what he was thinking or how he was feeling. He sounded hesitant and unsure, but he had to have came up with some sort of resolve if he was here talking to me.

"There's always a choice, they just aren't going to tell you that."

Returning my gaze to the horizon I paid a little too much attention the waters rippling surface. Riku was the last person I wanted to talk about this with. Anybody but _him_. "Don't you want Sora back? They aren't going to wake him up if I don't."

Another pause. Tension hung in the air between us. It didn't bother me much, but he seemed more hesitant than he was before. He knew he was on thin ice, and he had to choose what he said carefully. "Yes, but-

"Then we're done here."

"Roxas, I don't want Sora back if it means I'm going to lose you!"

I blew more air out of my nose than usual and folded my arms over my chest. "You'd really pick me over him."

"It's not just that." His voice cracked and I could feel him getting closer again. I refused to turn. The only thing I would see behind me was everything I was trying to focus on not feeling. I would have been left desperately clinging onto his words and empty promises like they actually might have meant something. "I…"

"You?"

He let out a long, breathy sigh, before planting his gloved hands on my shoulders and turning me himself. What was uncovered of his aqua eyes met my darker blue ones and he firmly stated, "getting Sora back isn't worth losing you. Yes, I do want him back, I can't deny that, but its not the same. When I'm with you I feel like I don't have to try so hard and it's easier to forget about things I don't want to remember."

"So I'm a distraction then, is that it? Then you can forget it, because I'm definitely not sticking around."

Riku quickly shook his head, his eyes widening slightly. He was scrambling to fix what wasn't broken to begin with. "That's not what I mean, I… I feel like I don't have to try so hard to be somebody I'm not sure I am anymore. You don't expect me to be that person, so I don't have to be them."

I pushed him back a few steps and skirted around him, not wanting to be so close to the edge of the cliff anymore. _Why now?_ He could have come to me and said this any time. "Its not that easy."

"Yes it is! You were going to leave The Organization anyway, right?"

Irritation pricked at the corners of my consciousness and my frustration with this whole thing became apparent. Why did he care so much? I'm the one who sent him back into the darkness anyway. "Who told you that? Axel? It doesn't matter if I do or not, they'll track me down and bring me back. Are you really prepared to die for me?"

Riku gently pulled me against his chest and held me there, refusing to let go. _Why is he getting so worked up about this? _I was the one who had shoved him off the deep end and into the darkness. How could he still care this much after all of that? _I'm just a nobody, why does he think I can be saved?_ When he spoke again his voice was a lot softer, and waivered slightly, almost as if he was on the verge of tears. "Come with me. Another few months of his sleeping won't hurt anybody. I won't be able to look at him the same way knowing you had to be erased just for him to come back."

Not knowing what else to do, I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around him. Saying yes really couldn't be that easy. There was no way one three letter word was going to be able to put an end to all of this.

Riku started rubbing my back and I realized how tightly I was squeezing him. I forced the muscles in my arms to relax and took a deep breath. _Yes. I want to stay. I don't want to not exist._ "You matter Roxas."

Hearing what I had wanted to all along startled me, and I felt my eyes widen from the shock. I had to have been imagining it, right? There was no way…

Riku tilted my face up towards his and smiled encouragingly. The sadness in his eyes momentarily disappeared as he waited for what he seemed to know I was going to say. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, softly pleading, "please stay with me."

Strands of his silver hair brushed against the sides of my face as I struggled to find the words I was looking for. _What is he trying to do to me?_ Taking a deep breath, I moved one of my hands to the side of his face and balanced on my toes, quickly brushing my lips against his before dropping back to the ground. Riku's eyes slowly opened and a small smile formed at the corners of his mouth. "Yes?"

I nodded slightly and waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. "Do I really have to? I already-

"Humor me."

"Fine. Yes. Happy?" Riku kissed me again and hummed contently when I brushed back some of his hair.

He rubbed his nose against mine and bundled me against his chest again. "Ecstatic."


End file.
